Leading With Empathy

Empathy

• We all are human, have feelings, and have needs.

  We’ve all experienced times when we were feeling bad, sad, and frustrated, not only with our friends and family but particularly at work.

  We’ve all experienced times when we wanted more recognition, autonomy, respect, and clarity.

  So if we can build that empathy muscle, be curious about what the other person is feeling and needing, and focus on our commonalities, which are our needs, we’ll be able to establish a stronger relationship to solve problems faster.

Values

• Values are things that are important to us, things that matter to us, things that influence us.

• When our Values are met, we get pleasant feelings. When our Values are unmet, we get unpleasant feelings.

• It’s important to know that anytime our employees feel frustrated, worried, or confused at work, we should examine which of their values are not being met and partner with them to increase their engagement at work.

Getting Your Point Across

• You can still get your message across while being empathetic.

• First, you’ll need to start with an empathy statement to show the other person you hear, see and understand them. Then, follow up with your clear goal or expectation.

• For example, “I want to emphasize that I know you can do well, and I’m here to support you. My expectation is X won’t happen again.”

Judgments Vs. Behaviors

• Focus conversations on behaviors, not judgments.

• Behaviors are facts based on observations--what you saw someone did and what you heard them say. They’re objective and hard to debate against.

  Judgments, on the other hand, are opinions. They are vague words and can mean different things to different people, and many times, they sound accusatory. No one wants to be accused of being something they feel they’re not.