Delivering Feedback

The Mindset Shift

• An important thing to keep in mind is that feedback conversation are not about punishment; they’re about potential. Unfortunately, there’s often a negative connotation around feedback, as if it means you’re in trouble—but that’s simply not true.

• “Withholding feedback is choosing comfort over growth.” - Adam Grant

• Shift your perspective. Instead of thinking it as a “difficult conversation,” frame it in a positive or neutral light. Approach it by thinking it’s an opportunity to develop someone, raise awareness, or make work easier for everyone around.

The Foundations of Feedback

• Focus feedback conversations on behaviors, not judgments.

• Judgments are opinions, subjective, and vague. People can become defensive when a judgment words describes them because it can feel like an attack on your personal character.

• Behaviors are observable actions (what you saw or heard). They’re facts and hard to debate against.

The BIR Feedback Model

• Behavior, Impact, Request.

• Let the employee know the Behavior they exhibited, the Impact their behavior made on their job, the team, or the organization, and your Request of them.

• When employees know the positive or negative impact of their behavior, they’ll know whether to continue or correct their behavior.

• Use a progressive feedback approach. Level 1: Request only. Level 2: Behavior + Request. Level 3: Behavior + Impact + Request.

Coaching

• Coaching means to ask more questions.

• Pose questions to guide the employee towards a solution. Focus on “Ask” and “Listen” and allow employees to think for themselves.

• People support what they help to create. Ask the employee to create the solution, because when they do, they’re more likely to hold themselves accountable to follow through with those actions they created (vs you telling them what to do)

Documentation

• To document performance conversations, email the employee and summarize the discussion plus the next steps. You can end the email with “Would you agree this summarizes our discussion?” or “How can I support you?”

• Remember to document both constructive and positive feedback.

• To build a culture of feedback, provide more positive feedback than constructive feedback.

Our Emotional Responses

• Three common reasons we respond negatively to feedback are because it challenges are truth, relationships, and identity.

  Employees tend to react in an emotional way when they feel misunderstood.

• Be curious, not judgmental. Instead of thinking “They need to stop being defensive,” be curious and ask the individual how they feel and why they feel that way.

• Practice empathy and seek to understand them. Once people feel understood, they are more willing to cooperate with you and listen to your request.